As directed

 Have you ever thought of what comes next?
When the night and day exchange 
And the quiet lays outside your bed.
Do you even sit and wonder why?
Everything moves so fast
And you're stuck going down a two way slide.
Still, feet stuck in the mud.
Every one is laughing and having a good
time.

Wait in line, give me a number to watch.
I've been in the faded line of gravity.
Floating around until its the right time
When is it ever the right time?
Waiting and waiting, I have no idea what for
But I know just know that's something I needed before
I realized I was lost.

The studder shakes my head, rattles my intention
to do better be better than I've wanted to be.
I'm bitterly tired, and the pictures in my head
continue to haunt me and make my mouth tell stories
That aren't my own. 
It;s not where I want to be, 
It's not who I want to be.