" Hey Joe, whaddaya know." I can remember my father saying that to my grandfather Joe every time we visited then. My grandfather would drum on his chest. His right hand over his hard with a little tap and reply "Ohh, not too much."
Something so small and trivial, yet it is something that I remember so deeply. I can see it. As the year flash in my memory. When everything began to change, as I grew and my siblings grew. The world allow the years press by... that greeting always remained the same.
Like the theme song of an outdated television show. It was familiar and it was welcomed.
Hey Joe, whaddaya know?.....Oh...not too much.
Grandpa Joe, 93 years. The things he's seen. He watch the world evolve. He watched so much happen to our world. To this country.
March 19, 1926- February 8, 2020. Almost a whole century. It's unbelievable. I wanted him to meet 100. Only because my whole life Grandpa Joe was always solid. He was hard working and never made a single complaint to the hard work. He did was he loved. Farmer Joe. Always up to trouble and worked up until just a year ago. He wanted nothing more than to be back outside. Roaming the fields, fixing fences, gathering cattle. I learned as a farmer grows, the farmer never changes. They want nothing more than to be on their land. I'm so thankful that I listened to some of his stories. Now when I walk around the farm, I will see him. Everywhere. I'll see Grandpa as a young kid running from his teacher over the hills. I'll see him splashing in the watering hold down the hill by the bridge. I'll imagine life in the 30's 40's the model ts rolling over the piece that was once a bridge and try to imagine a house just a little over there. I'll see Grandpa rolling around in his tractor, feeding the hounds. Or helping me ride his horse. Trudy....they were all Trudy. I'll appreciate it the farm a little more. Knowing how much of the family's history really lays in that land. The love, the hardship, the laughs that all lay in that land. The good years and the bad years and how in the end how everything survived. I'll love the farm a little hard because it was so special to you. I'll bring my own children out there as much as I can to run and play just as you did with your brothers and sister. I'll teach them to love the soil and we can use it to grow such wonderful and tasty things. I hate that in death is when we really learn all the things we should of in life. Why is it now that my eyes are open to everything when I should of been more alert and grateful in your life. In honesty, it is because in my head I never saw you or anyone every leaving. Death was never an option and I'm learning quite hard that it is. That you don't get to stay with me forever. Only in my heart and memories. Even though, it was the hardest thing I ever had to watch, I'm glad I spent the last week with you. Holding your hand, watching you sleep and breathe. Talking to you unsure if you could hear me but I know somehow somewhere you could. I'm so glad I spend the last day you were able to talk with you. In between our naps I'd ask for a story and you gladly told some the best you could. The ones that were my favorite and I'd ask like I never heard the story before. You're free now and I'm so thankful for that. I'm going to miss you. We all are. I wish I could find the words. Losing Grandpa B just nearly 2 months ago has my heart still so numb and vulnerable. I'm so lost, and sad. I still cry looking at his picture and now I have you both gone and it feels like a blow to the stomach. I just feel like screaming but I know this is the circle of life whether I feel like its fair or not.
I bought a new dress for the services. I just want to make you both proud. Proud to have my as your granddaughter because most days its hard to be proud of myself. I just miss you both so much. It's so much heartbreak at such a little time. Instead of healing, I just feel like the cracks are deeper. It all still doesn't feel real....
I'll remember how strong you were your entire life. How full of life and adventure you were. 93 years on this Earth and you impacted all of the 30 years we had together. You've known me my whole life but you've had so much life before me that I'll never know.....I asked you before you left this world. To give me sign if it was real.....If there really is something. I'll be waiting for a sign Grandpa, whenever you're ready.....I love you and miss you forever.
Joseph James Martin March 19, 1926- February 8th, 2020
Give Grandpa Blask a big hug for me.
Love you and miss you both more than you'll ever know.
1 comment:
Hello a child of God. I am a Pastor from Mumbai, India.I am glad to stop by your profile on the blogger and the blog post. I am also blessed and feel privileged and honoured to get connected with you as well as know you and about your interest in life. It was iteresting to go through your blog post and know the impact of your grandpa on your life. Hwo blessed you are to have such a grandpa who influnced your life so much with his hard work. He has passed on the legacy to you and you have so much responsibility to pass it on to your generations to come. I have been in the PASTORAL MINISTRY for last 40 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with a great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. we reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokenehearted. We also encourage young and the adults from the west to come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. wE WOULD love to have you come to Mumbai to work with us during your vacation time. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. Looking forward to hear from you very soon. God's richest blessings on you your family and friends also wishing you and your family a blessed and a Christ centered rest of the NEW YEAR 2020. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede.
Post a Comment