I love when the sky is dark. The shades of royal blue blending in the sky, as the slight hue of gold and orange peak from the undertones as the sun sings us its lullaby. How sweetly peaceful the world happens to be at dusk. The birds settle, traffic gets less obnoxious, and families all gathered together in the warmth and love of their homes. Well, those fortunate enough to have a home that is.
Sometimes, when I'm enjoying my few moments of silence...embracing my life and loving the way it flows together, I worry about all those who are less fortunate than I. So here I say, I hope those who are cold, find warmth. Those who are hungry, find food, and those who are thirsty, find water. Which brings me to the phantom thoughts that silently haunt me. Not too loud to distract me from my life, but once in a while poke through loud enough to cause me to lose my footing.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm not working enough, I'm not cleaning enough, writing enough, doing anything enough. All that consumes me, it trying to create this perfect life for Jack. It dwells deep into my soul the worry of not giving him all that I feel he deserves.
I don't own a house, all I want is for him to have a place that is home. That he can crawl at bed at night one and feel safe, and loved. Then I realize....he already has that. Sure, one day we will move into a house that is ours, but why teach my son that materials or places define happiness, comfort, and love. Love is where your heart is, where you feel love, where you know you are safe. In this home we already have all of those things. I'm not financial stable. I don't have tens of thousands in the bank, but my bills are paid, there's food in my kitchen, electricity, running water, and love. What else do I really need? I may not be where I thought I was going to be, or where other people my age are...but, I'm learning I'm right where I need to be. And where I am,isn't where I'll be forever. That's the great thing about life.
It's unpredictable, and always changing.
Life keeps going even when you feel you need to sit a minute and take a break. Someday I'll be farther along. As long as I have my family, my few good friends, love in my heart passion in my blood and dreams in my mind. I'm exactly where I need to be. Where I want to be.
I'm too hard on myself. The pressure I put on myself is outrageous. The only person I'm trying to race or beat is truly myself. Why do I continue to rush myself, life is beautiful and if waste too much time trying to catch up to everyone else, well I'll be missing on the moments that will make up the most precious and amazing aspects of life.
I may not have my shit together, but how interesting would I be if I did? Probably not even a tad bit. Struggle, keeps things interesting.
So if you're struggling, and things are getting bit to heavy for you to dwell with, getting hard to sleep at night. Just smile and know you're not alone, and no matter what life throws at you, you're loved, and you matter.
YOU MATTER.
The night sky has completely conquered the light. It's beautiful in the mysterious black velvet that sweeps over the sky. Soon little diamonds will glittered the sky, dreamers will make wishes, and desperate hearts will make deals. There's beauty in darkness, sometimes its hard to remember. My little town is quiet as people end their days. Or maybe some just getting read to venture out. All the same. The silence is calming, yet again silence can be too loud as well.
I'm excited to spend some time working on my book this evening. I'm thankful that I found something that fuels my passion. I hope you find your passion.
Whatever your passion is...unless its killing people or animals, don't do that.
Much love, love to you, Jenny
Latest poetry
Carry on-
Sometimes I forget to keep my eye on the ball
Sometimes I lose my balance and I fall
It's not about the drop how hard you hit the ground
Sometimes, I forget that I can, and I will
It's not hard if you let it all
Carry on
Keep your back straight
Head held up high
young dreamer with their head in the sky
Keep your heart light
Keep your grip tight
Young dreamer with their head in the sky
Once in a while I forget who Iam
Where I'm going, or where I've been
but I always remember the way the sky looked
I always remember the way the sky looked.
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